OK - SO..... Someone (Lawrence) (love you, mwah!) read my comments about marriage and now I need to clarify things. I wasn't saying that I don't want to marry HIM. I'm just saying that marriage, IMHO, is not the grand american dream I used to think it was. Marriage got me where I am today. Yeah. Single parent, non-supportive ex, low income housing, empty cupboards, etc. etc. It has been my past experience that a marriage license gave the illusion that it was also a license to neglect, abuse and control. I had Bible verses about "wives submitting to their husbands" thrown at me on a regular basis. It's not (even remotely) that I am not in love with and committed to my fiance. I am!!! And I'm ready to create a new life with him in a new house, together..... because I trust him to continue being who he has been since I met him 3 years ago.
Lawrence is one of the GOOD GUYS. He has shown me his love and caring committment faithfully for a while now. He is there when I need him. Emotionally.... physically.... financially he's gone above and beyond any other person in my life. I know love can't be pinned down or analyzed but these things show me he loves me. I hope I have shown him the same cuz I DO love him. I'm excited to think about us living together. I'm even willing to get married again. To him. Cuz I trust him.
I didn't mean for my remarks about marriage to confuse things.... and I'd hate for Lawrence to think those comments meant that I wasn't sure about HIM. I AM :) It's just that little piece of paper... that ceremony....
Those kinda make me nervous.
About Me
- Rainee
- Rainee, RaineeDaze, RiverRaine, RaineeDMJ - They're all me. Mom, Grandmom, southern chick. Cake artist, pencil artist, daydreamer and writer of fanfic. I love those I love with all of my heart. Which is usually set on my sleeve. I'm happy, optimistic, Sagittarius and sexy. Sometimes I let my perkiness go to extremes.... I like the music loud and I love to sing along. Life is amazing and i'm determined to make the most of it. Fear will no longer hold me back. Hesitation is no longer my style. Yes I will over think things, and yes I am still OCD. But going with who I am has been way more liberating than fighting or hiding myself. I wanna live shameless.... And I'll get there. One lovely day at a time!!
2 comments:
We can do whatever makes us both happy. Remember - I went through a few bad times in my marriage and divorce also. But like you said - I am trusting you to be the same person I fell in Love with 3 years ago. So on we go............Life is but a journey. :)
Rainee,
Don't let the past color your view of the future. One rotten husband does not make all men rotten. I know that sounds like a platitude. But when I saw what my parents went through, I said I would NEVER EVER marry. Twenty-five years later, here I am. I never thought or dreamed that marriage was a good thing. If you have two people who want it and will work for it...it WILL work.
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