Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Where there are plenty of fish...

there are plenty of fish stories!!
(how's that for a segue??)

Plenty of Fish is the free dating website where I got my feet wet in the scary world of "trying to meet a good guy." "Free" - it is what it is - and that in itself has had a few drawbacks. I'll have to tell you later about the site I paid for. So far it hasn't produced near the sadness or hilarity of the free one.

My first POF guy was an absolute pirate... Arrrgh! He fooled me for a really long time. But underneath, I knew the truth. He was a lying scalawag, but I enjoyed almost every minute of his company. He promised me this wonderful world that I woulda uprooted everything for. Except it wasn't real. It was only bait. I loved the fantasy, so I took it, hook, line and sinker, all the while knowing it would be pulled out from under me and I'd be tossed back one day. Kinda makes a person wonder where their sense of SELF is in those moments... But the smile that blooms at his memory reminds me - I know exactly where I put mine. My pirate taught me some amazing things. Because of him I opened doors for myself that would have remained closed if we'd never met. If he called me today I'd try my best to make a way to get to him. Even tho I know the truth. Too bad he didn't know he didn't have to lie. I'll never look at older, well-off, white-haired men in the same way after him. Because of his touch I'm changed forever.

Funny thing about the human ego... it believes what it hears and doesn't worry about things like motivation. It never mattered to my ego that he was only playing games. Under his care I blossomed. Every time he called me one of his pretty little names a new tendril of confidence would sprout. He doesn't even know what he set free in me. But I know I'll never be the same. And I'm grateful.

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