a little ketchup

haha...

so - the tax refund is hanging by a thread in the hope that a house will present itself. I did use alot of it to get rid of some debt. So for like.... a month now I have been (almost) debt free. (YAY!!) I have like 500 bucks left to pay on Mel's car. Then.... it's over. Only to hopefully jump right back in again with a mortgage! I want a house. Which is not to say we haven't found one, cuz we did. But then my feel got iced over and I told Lawrence that I was not sure I'm ready for us to move in together. He was SO cool about it. We've been house hunting for 2 years and we finally found a great one. Prob'ly the best as far as acreage, price, location.... but I couldn't make the jump. I hate it when I don't know how sound my decisions are. So many questions in my mind!! I wish I was a fortune teller and could predict the future. That would make life so much easier. I'm not so good at leaps of faith anymore.

David should be done with the "basic Training" part of boot camp by now. His last letter talked about 10 and 15K runs.... omg!! Complete with ruck sack and m-16 I'm sure. (I wish that for one little minute I could SEE my SON with an automatic weapon on his shoulder. lol) Next comes AIT.... I think Jenifer said it stands for Advanced Indiviual Training?? The learning-to-be-an-MP part. My countdown thingy at myspace says I have 2 months, 12 days, 21 hours, 37 minutes and 13 seconds til graduation.

As for Mellie..... she got a raise at work!! That's an achievement since this is the first job she's had long enough to get a raise. She's gonna be 17 in a matter of weeks. I heard this song called "The Chance" by Julie Roberts.... wow... all I can say is it made me cry... it's SO me and Melody. I'll have to share the lyrics in another post.

Jon is... JON! He has spent the last several years with long, skater kid hair. SO much hair that in our last family portrait the photographer had to air brush him in some EYES.... He's sportin' a mohawk now. Shaved all the hair off his head except for right in the center.... he's started a fad in middle school even. All I know is that if I MADE him get his hair cut that way he'd hate me. I'm gonna hafta find a pic...

As for myself.... I am SO confused right now. I even thought about going back to my counselor.... Can't figure out if I should continue to embrace my independence.... or what. I never really lived my life for me before. Just cuz "that's the way I want it." But every year that I'm on my own gives me more confidence for the next. I'm not sure if I'll be able to give it up now. Seeing that perfect little house has brought me face-to-face with the big "what the heck ARE you gonna do with the rest of your life?" question. I suck at decisions. Have I already typed that?

For now it's Sunday and sunny and I'm going to go see my mom. The rest can wait I reckon........